The Giving Season
December 2023
This Saturday will mark 3 months since my son, Jack, passed away unexpectedly at the age of 22. There are still questions to be answered and a lifetime of grief to navigate. I am learning that the stages of grief are not linear and they are not necessarily “stages” that you pass through. Each day, each hour, each moment can be a combination of all of them at once. It is complicated. The circumstances were complicated. What wasn’t complicated was my love, support and hope for my son.
I live in a special neighborhood in Upper Arlington called “Langport Valley”. We are a neighborhood of approximately 100 homes that lie within the boundaries of 2 cross streets and the Scioto river. For over 30 years our neighborhood has had a tradition of putting together luminaries as a neighborhood and lighting them at all 100 homes on Christmas Eve. This is a spectacular sight to see with the beauty of our neighborhood all lit up at night. The other piece of this wonderful tradition is to donate to a charity every year. This year I was privileged to be asked to suggest the charity for our donations to be made in memory of my son, Jack.
This task was harder than I expected. Yet, it was very therapeutic and helped me to work through some of my thoughts on what programs are in our community to help families/individuals struggling with mental health and/or addiction. What I was reminded of most was how hard it is to access help when you need it, how few programs are actually helpful and how much more education needs to be taught in these areas.
My proposal of 3 different charities to the neighborhood group resulted in “Mental Health of America” being the chosen charity for our luminary donations this year. This program is helpful in connecting people struggling with mental health with a variety of resources. Mental Health of America was helpful in not only helping Jack but also supporting me as a parent of a young adult with a combination of needs. Unfortunately, there are many people who don’t know where to look for help for themselves and for their loved ones. This is especially true when actively dealing with a crisis. Mental Health of America can be a helpful place to start.
Going forward, it is my goal to find ways of sharing my knowledge and experience with others in Jack’s memory. To those of you who donated to the “Go Fund Me” for my family please know that the money will be used for these purposes. I will not access these funds until January (the deadline) as I am still taking things one day at a time and thinking purposefully. Thank you again for your kindness and generosity.
In closing, this picture is of a Christmas decoration that Jack made last December while in a recovery program. He truly fought hard and this decoration reminds me of my love for him and his love for me as his mom. The most important gifts one can give are to never give up hope on someone and always be kind.
Mindy