Fentanyl Awareness Day 2025 - What you should know about fentanyl.

Celebrating Jack Through Acts of Kindness ❤️

The Year in Review…”Firsts” Become “Seconds”. Wrapping up 2024

Meeting your child where they are is one of the hardest things you may do as a parent. Yet, it may be the most helpful things you will ever do.

Today versus a year ago. It has been one year since Jack's passing. Another honest and vulnerable blog about grief and the effects of fentanyl poisoning. Jack will forever be in our hearts.

Some days I am not “Ok”

My 9 month ramble…

We all need to do better for the greater good.

Shark Attacks and Fentanyl. We are all vulnerable.

“Forever 22”

I will say that again….FOREVER 22. Jack was born on the 22nd and died at the age of 22. In many ways he will forever be 22. This is a very difficult tragedy and reality to accept. He deserved many more years to live and to grow. He deserved so much more.

I would imagine many of you stopped and paused at those words wondering if you even want to read any further. The loss of a child, a son and someone so young, and the finality of death doesn’t really make for enjoyable reading.

I could go down the rabbit hole of all the what if’s, could haves, should haves and wishes for Jack and his future. There are many. I will save all of that for another time. Sadly, I am learning that none of those will bring him back. Also, none of those are ways to celebrate Jack or a birthday.

I always tried to make my children’s birthdays special, just as my mother had done for me growing up. Our birthdays were always a day of celebration. A celebration of the person and the happiness and the joy they brought into our world. We all deserve happiness and to be celebrated.

Our family has a tradition of making a birthday cake and decorating it in a fun way every year. When it is your birthday then you get to choose the cake flavor and the theme. The finished cake would then be displayed upon a pedestal. We would sometimes awe at it and sometimes we would laugh at it. The cake always seemed to be the pinnacle event of a birthday in our home. It brought us together, allowed for time of celebration and a time of love and wishes for our future.

Jack and I often enjoyed the same choice in cake: a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and M&M’s gently placed between the layers. The birthday boy or girl would always receive the first piece and we would enjoy laughter with wishes made on candles sparkling, singing “Happy Birthday” and sometimes catching cake decorations on fire as we enjoyed this special moment together.

Last year it was just Jack and myself home on his birthday, March 22nd. We still celebrated with the same grand cake tradition. Though, with Jack turning 22 on the 22nd we stepped it up a few notches and found a candle that sparkled, sung and practically melted the cake and the kitchen down all in one. We laughed so hard and Jack was so happy and felt so loved and optimistic. I am grateful we had that day and that memory together. I am grateful for all the birthdays and the days, laughs, hugs and conversations we shared. I am so grateful that I was chosen to be his mother and he will always be my son.

Today, Jack would have turned 23. I will miss him forever and wish he were here to celebrate this day and many, many more. I have really struggled with how to spend today. It is the hardest day yet. While my heart is broken, I would like to celebrate him for who he was and all that he offered us in his 22 years. I would like to celebrate his kindness, his humor, his intellect, his sense of adventure, his laughter and his hugs. He deserves to be remembered and celebrated.

While Jack is not here to celebrate in person this year, I choose to celebrate him and begin to merge the bond between what was (his life) and what will be (the future without him). This isn’t easy and hurts beyond any pain I have ever felt.

May we all celebrate Jack and all our loved ones that are no longer here with laughter, kindness and loving memories. May Jack live on through our actions of kindness, empathy and compassion.

Always be Kind and Never Give up Hope.

Mindy

#Forever22

December 2023

This Saturday will mark 3 months since my son, Jack, passed away unexpectedly at the age of 22. There are still questions to be answered and a lifetime of grief to navigate. I am learning that the stages of grief are not linear and they are not necessarily “stages” that you pass through. Each day, each hour, each moment can be a combination of all of them at once. It is complicated. The circumstances were complicated. What wasn’t complicated was my love, support and hope for my son.

I live in a special neighborhood in Upper Arlington called “Langport Valley”. We are a neighborhood of approximately 100 homes that lie within the boundaries of 2 cross streets and the Scioto river. For over 30 years our neighborhood has had a tradition of putting together luminaries as a neighborhood and lighting them at all 100 homes on Christmas Eve. This is a spectacular sight to see with the beauty of our neighborhood all lit up at night. The other piece of this wonderful tradition is to donate to a charity every year. This year I was privileged to be asked to suggest the charity for our donations to be made in memory of my son, Jack.

This task was harder than I expected. Yet, it was very therapeutic and helped me to work through some of my thoughts on what programs are in our community to help families/individuals struggling with mental health and/or addiction. What I was reminded of most was how hard it is to access help when you need it, how few programs are actually helpful and how much more education needs to be taught in these areas.

My proposal of 3 different charities to the neighborhood group resulted in “Mental Health of America” being the chosen charity for our luminary donations this year. This program is helpful in connecting people struggling with mental health with a variety of resources. Mental Health of America was helpful in not only helping Jack but also supporting me as a parent of a young adult with a combination of needs. Unfortunately, there are many people who don’t know where to look for help for themselves and for their loved ones. This is especially true when actively dealing with a crisis. Mental Health of America can be a helpful place to start.

Going forward, it is my goal to find ways of sharing my knowledge and experience with others in Jack’s memory. To those of you who donated to the “Go Fund Me” for my family please know that the money will be used for these purposes. I will not access these funds until January (the deadline) as I am still taking things one day at a time and thinking purposefully. Thank you again for your kindness and generosity.

In closing, this picture is of a Christmas decoration that Jack made last December while in a recovery program. He truly fought hard and this decoration reminds me of my love for him and his love for me as his mom. The most important gifts one can give are to never give up hope on someone and always be kind.

Mindy